Thanks for the Comments
Thank you to everyone who stopped by the past few days to offer some encouragement. You have no idea how much you have all blessed and humbled me. I know that the Lord has already broken the curses over my life. I pray that He will break them over my sister. I know in whom I have believed and I know that He can do it. I just pray that she will allow Him to do the work that is necessary.
This post is going to be a very serious one. PBR once prophesied over me that I was going to author a book. It was confirmation of what God had already placed in my heart. He said it could be a book on parenting...I think it will be a book about my life. I realized that I did not write about my father yesterday. So today is all about my dad.
I adored my father. He always comforted me and protected me. I always knew that nothing could harm me as long as he was there. But then he did something that made me fear him. One night he lost his temper and beat my mom up. He had never done anything to her before that night. He started hitting her and forced her to the ground. Then he repeatedly kicked her head. I was scared to death that my mom was going to die. My sister and I were scared to death and wanted to race to the door, but dad wouldn't let us go. You know how psychologists say that your mind in self-defense will block out some memories so that you will never again be able to recall them? Well, God has done that for me. I don't remember how my mom ever got out of the house. I don't remember who called the police or what happened to my dad. I cannot remember anything until a full year later when my sister and I were only beginning to have a little trust for my dad. When we finally let the barrier down, I again became his little girl who was absorbed in my daddy. I was young enough to accept his apologies and know that he had changed. We were starting to get back to normal. Mom and Dad got divorced after the fight. It was only as my sister and I were beginning to trust him that He was taken from us.
I cried and cried when my dad passed away and no one tried to comfort me. As the years passed and my mind grew more elite, the memories of that dreadful night returned and I began analyzing and scrutinizing the memories. In my teenage years, I developed anger and resentment toward my dad.
It wasn't until I had been coming to CFC for awhile that God was really able to get through to me. I remember one night PBR had people come forward who were struggling with unforgiveness. That night, I spoke out for the first time that I forgave my father for beatin my mom up. It was a huge block off my shoulder and a weight had been lifted. The healing continued when Dhimitry came and spoke about his own relationship with his dad. My heart was again broken as I realized I had let some pain slip back in. God again revealed the trouble and I was able to accept his grace.
I'm not really sure how to close this post. I love my God and He is the best daddy in the world. PBR gave me a book once by TD Jakes, "Daddy Loves His Girls". I'm not sure what made him give me the book, but it blessed me. I am thankful that God is able to remove boulders from around us. That "though my enemies encamp around me and plot against me" that "I will fear no evil for thou oh, Lord are with me."
This post is going to be a very serious one. PBR once prophesied over me that I was going to author a book. It was confirmation of what God had already placed in my heart. He said it could be a book on parenting...I think it will be a book about my life. I realized that I did not write about my father yesterday. So today is all about my dad.
I adored my father. He always comforted me and protected me. I always knew that nothing could harm me as long as he was there. But then he did something that made me fear him. One night he lost his temper and beat my mom up. He had never done anything to her before that night. He started hitting her and forced her to the ground. Then he repeatedly kicked her head. I was scared to death that my mom was going to die. My sister and I were scared to death and wanted to race to the door, but dad wouldn't let us go. You know how psychologists say that your mind in self-defense will block out some memories so that you will never again be able to recall them? Well, God has done that for me. I don't remember how my mom ever got out of the house. I don't remember who called the police or what happened to my dad. I cannot remember anything until a full year later when my sister and I were only beginning to have a little trust for my dad. When we finally let the barrier down, I again became his little girl who was absorbed in my daddy. I was young enough to accept his apologies and know that he had changed. We were starting to get back to normal. Mom and Dad got divorced after the fight. It was only as my sister and I were beginning to trust him that He was taken from us.
I cried and cried when my dad passed away and no one tried to comfort me. As the years passed and my mind grew more elite, the memories of that dreadful night returned and I began analyzing and scrutinizing the memories. In my teenage years, I developed anger and resentment toward my dad.
It wasn't until I had been coming to CFC for awhile that God was really able to get through to me. I remember one night PBR had people come forward who were struggling with unforgiveness. That night, I spoke out for the first time that I forgave my father for beatin my mom up. It was a huge block off my shoulder and a weight had been lifted. The healing continued when Dhimitry came and spoke about his own relationship with his dad. My heart was again broken as I realized I had let some pain slip back in. God again revealed the trouble and I was able to accept his grace.
I'm not really sure how to close this post. I love my God and He is the best daddy in the world. PBR gave me a book once by TD Jakes, "Daddy Loves His Girls". I'm not sure what made him give me the book, but it blessed me. I am thankful that God is able to remove boulders from around us. That "though my enemies encamp around me and plot against me" that "I will fear no evil for thou oh, Lord are with me."
posted by Nichole at 6:10 AM
2 Comments:
Nicky you bless me so much. We don't get to see each other much, but you are so insightful and God is using you in such incredible ways. God is our comforter and our healer. He heals our hearts of the hurts of our past. Be blessed and keep pressing into Him. Love you.
Nicky,
Thank you for that comment on the post about my Summer vacation to Canada. That was in 1973 and you're right about getting way from technology and just take it easy for a while. I had really separated myself from all that (separated by space and time) because cell phones and PC's were not made available at that time. It would be many years before technology would advance to the point to where most people would have those "technological wonders". I hope to talk to you later and tell Jason I said "hi".
Love in Christ,
John Bledsoe
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