New Pictures on My Web Site

I have posted some new pics on my web site...feel free to leave comments about the house on my guestbook on the web site. Thanks!

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Day 1 of Experiment

I am going to start an experiment today. I think the original man to do this experiment was Frank Laubach. I am going to try to not let the Lord slip from my mind for even a second. I will journal my thoughts on how I am doing here. I hope this works and I really think that it will help make my life at work easier.

Here are my verses for today:

Ps 133 "How pleasant it is when brethren dwell together in unity."

Ez 47 "...and men shall stand on both sides [of the river of life] and shall cast their nest and there shall be more fish than the nets can hold." (may not be exact, sorry.)

Ps ? "Bless thou the Lord, oh my soul, and forget none of his benefits." Thanks to Beth Moore for pointing out the importance of having this one in my heart.

Well...there's a few. I'll write more about Mr. Laubach tomorrow. Love you all and today is an awesome day!

Sadness on the Sunrise

As the sun rises, I am a bit saddened. If you read yesterday's comments section, you will see that my mentor and friend has resigned her postion at work. This is very sad for me, because she always supported me and always taught me new things. I will miss Dana very much, but I wish her the best. This makes it a little more difficult for me to return to work daily.

Lord, I pray that you will bless Dana's time with her children. Give her strength on the difficult days and give her sensitivity to understand the things that may cause her children to not obey her. I pray for her older son that you would give him guidance in which college to chose and what career path to follow. I thank you for the time that you have allowed me to spend with Dana. She has been a blessing to me and has taught me so much. I pray that when she returns to work that you would open the doors to her and that she would be able to choose the position that she wants. She has much to offer and I pray that wherever she ends up that she will be appreciated and receive recognition for her work. Thank you for all these things and thank you for blessing her with this time with her children. Amen.

...A Big Yawn...

Once again I am exhausted. It's really nice to be able to say that one room is finished (almost). The bathroom needs a few tiles around the shower and then the bathroom will be finished. The kitchen is coming along...slowly, but surely. We bought a refrigerator this weekend. We got a great deal at Fry's Electronics. It was quite a pain taking the thing out of the box and wheeling it up our wheelchair ramp (a benefit of buying a handicap accessible house!) only to find that the door was too narrow. We had to wheel it back down and finally decided the take the doors off the refrigerator. Of course, this is our new house and none of Jason's good tools were there. Luckily, my mom stopped by to see if we were still there and she ran to my aunt's house to get a socket set to make our job easier. There will be people at the house Monday through Wednesday this week. If you are in town, stop by the house. If you don't know where it is, stop by CV and Mike/Linda can tell you.

In the midst of all our housework, Jason and I had some very serious talks about my work. My attitude has been very bad these past few weeks. I was so down last week that I logged onto my blog while at work to request prayer because I was having a bad day. I have been frustrated with the management at work and said some things that we not true. You guys know me and the question that has been in the back of my mind over the weekend is why didn't anyone tell me I was wrong to say some of the things I said? I was a little harsh and some people at work are taking the things I said way too serious. I wrote these things to blow steam and get out some frustration. I think out loud on here and I almost decided to just leave the blog world because of some of the things I wrote.

Remember the post I did about "The Tongue"? I wrote it because I have never had trouble with my tongue until going back to work after Shepard. When I re-read some of the work-related posts, I realized that I didn't quite have my tongue in check in all areas. I have held back a lot in the lunch sessions with the girls, but I have allowed my tongue free reign on my blog thinking that I just wanted to be held up in prayer by you guys (my church family).

Jason and I decided that my sit-e-ation at work is only as bad as I have let it become. The truth is that I always complete my work with nearly 100% accuracy and when I make a mistake, I am the first to admit it and I take the necessary steps to rectify it. My issues at work are that I have been listening to Wormwood (is that right from LOTR). I have been poisoned and have taken on some other people's problems as my own. I have decided that I cannot listen to Wormwood any more. My eyes, like the king's, are not cloudy any more and I have regained the strength necessary to fight the battle at hand. I e-mailed one of my lunch buddies this weekend and told her that I couldn't go to lunch with them any more because of Wormwood and they told me that they would rather me come than her, so we'll see what happens today.

So, here are the songs that shall be in my head today: Create in Me a Clean Heart, Be Magnified (have I writted about this song yet?), This Is the Day and The Happy Song. You may purchase this CD at....j/k...Oh, and if I ever do get out of line, you guys better rip me apart, b/c I can't believe how depressed I was getting.


**In prior posts, Wormwood has been identified with a name. Wormwood is the one who I said is my goal at work. Any questions, e-mail me.

Me Me Me Me Me.....Part 2

Ok...so I was in a super serious mood yesterday...here's the lighter side. (And yes, I will continue the post that I started on my sister, just not today. Today is a happy day.)

I am either super serious or so weird that I freak my husband out.

My husband and I are both amused by the dumbest things (like...if a police man arrives on the scene of an accident involving a hearse, how does he write the report? Is it: "I arrived on the scene at 3:30. One injured, one found dead on arrival in casket...") ha ha ha...that's just funny.

I love to play games with my little boy and teach him new things. We have a stomp dance that we do together.

I am ambitious. I don't like to be bored and I always have to be bettering myself in some form (such as learning something new, attempting something new, etc.).

I love vinegar! I especially love vinegar on LJS fish and spinach! YUMMY!!! I would rather drink the pickle juice than eat the pickle, but I still love pickles.

I once got a pickle birthday card, because I love pickles so much.

I love quotes and my favorite is, "I am always doing that which I cannot do in order that I may learn how to do it." (Picasso, I think.)

I love math. My favorite was the proofs in geometry.

I don't really enjoy eating. Nothing ever sounds good...except Caramel Apple Empanadas...that's bad, I know.

...so I'm realizing how super boring I am...

Another favorite quote, "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt." (I don't know who said that one, but it sounds like a Woody Allen.)

My favorite movie is probably Ever After. It's only $7.50 at Wal-Mart, but I can't make myself buy it.

My favorite singer is Jewel. My favorite song of hers is "Little Siter". It's a really bad song, but it expresses every emotion I have with my sister.

I feel really uninteresting, so I'll be quiet now...

My Sister

Writing that "I am the statistic you never hear about" made me really have a lot more compassion for my sister. When she was thirteen she had a good support group. Her youth pastor was there for her and they always talked about things that were happening in life. Everything worked out great for her, until the religion set in with her youth pastor. She wanted to talk about sex and one time her friend made a gesture during their youth meeting. The youth minister got really religious and avoided the question. Unfortunately, he shut the door between him and my sister and she wandered down the wide path.

After that, my sister grew up and formed into the woman that the enemy had led her to be. She is very insecure. She always thinks that she has some rare disease that hasn't even been discovered yet. She fears everything in the world and is scared to death of what might be in her future. She and I had the same childhood. The same things happened in her life that happened in mine. She wandered into drugs about five years ago. She didn't come to my bachelorette thing at Amy's house because she was messed up. She came to my wedding without showering. Those things really bother me, but at the same time I have compasssion for her.

My sister has been delivered from the drugs. I still worry that she may be taking way more medication than what has been prescribed, but I know that the Lord will watch over her and her family. I pray that the spirits that have been operating in her life will be broken and that they will not be able to touch her son and daughter. I know that the Lord has a plan for my sister's life and I pray that she can start operating in it soon.

The Lord allowed me to see a gifting on her that she may not even know about. Nearly every person that I have known of that she has prayed for has been completely healed. I know that this is a gift from the Lord. I pray that He will draw her to Himself and that she will be able to cry at His feet and lay her past before Him. I pray that the Lord will show her glimpses of her childhood when He was there with her. When we did the Beth Moore study, the assignment that really had the biggest impact on me is when we had to go through our life and list the times from our past where we could see the hand of God. It broke my heart to see that He really was there with me. ......to be continued

Did You Know?

I guess I'll take a ride on the bandwagon...

People always think I'm older than I reallly am (I'm 23).

People always think my sister is younger than me (she's 28).

My favorite movie for a long time was Casper.

My dad died when I was nine.

I am very insecure because of things that happened to me when I was a child/teen.

The Lord is the only One who has ever been there for me my whole life.

I don't enjoy talking on the phone too much. I'm not good at conversation.

I will avoid attention at all costs! If I think that everyone in the room will be paying attention to me and I don't want them too, I kind-of flip out, but still maintain my cool enough to say what I want to say, but trail off.

I have a habit of not finishing my thoughts.

I wish I knew more words. I have lots to say, but never feel like I have the right words to say it. I'm thankful that my husband understands me so that he can interpret. *lol*

I just realized last night that my work day (including the drive) is 11 hours and that I only get to spend 4 hours at night with my family.

I love my family.

I am very optimistic. I learned at a young age what a difference Phil 4:8 can make on your attitude.

I am the opposite of the sum of all the events in my life and I am the opposite of most of the people in my life. Not you guys...we're pretty much on the same page. I mean my family, the people I knew as a child, etc.

My life is the statistic you never hear about.

I have often times felt like I fit in more with my husband's family than with my own. I love you, Meme. (If you're out there.)

Closing Wednesday

Jason and I are closing on our house Wednesday at 4:00 p.m.

Good night.

I Am Exhausted.....Part 2

A huge thank you to Miss Amy Jo Reason for coming out Tuesday to prime the walls. All of the walls are presentable now and Jason will meet with the appraiser today. My roof looks amazing and the wiring is safe. The water...well, there's a pipe busted somewhere under the house. It won't be fixed for a couple of weeks. The owner is taking care of the water problem though. She seems to think that in the beginning, she told Jason that if there were any problems with the water or plumbing that she would pay to get it fixed. I don't know what we would have done if we would have had to do it. The leak is somewhere underground and most likely under the house.

The checklist of things that still need to be done:

1. Prime the bathroom and all trim throughout house
2. Rip off wall board in kitchen
3. Paint the LR, Fireplace Room, our room, Shep's room, BR and kitchen
4. MOVE IN!!!
5. Put up privacy fence
6. Vinyl siding on house
7. Before moving in, clean carpets

When we get finished with all of this...what a day of rejoicing that will be!

My Husband

My husband is called by God to be a shepherd over the flock of saints at CFC-R. Before he was ordained (and before Shepard) we had a lot of time to discuss his vision for the church and the people. My husband doesn't talk much about himself (ever!), so I cherish the talks we had back then.

Here are a few of Jason's goals for our church body:

1. Unity - He wants every person in the church to love every person in the church. He hates gossip and will do all things necessary to make sure that our people are not talking bad about each other or anyone else.

2. Worship - I could share with you some of the songs that God has given to Jason and stuff like that, but music doesn't have much to do with true worship. This is the way my husband thinks and I agree. He would love to see every person in our church body completely surrendered to God and living a life of worship as a pleasing aroma to our Lord. He yearns and dreams that the Holy Spirit will come and every person will fall to the floor without being touched and without words being said. He wants God to come to us and for the atmosphere to be so thick with the anointing that all we can do is lay at His feet.

3. We want the Lord to fill every seat in our building and we believe that he will do it this year. A few people from our prayer group have had visions of the river of life flowing through Rush County. I want to be a fisher of men. I never could bait a hook, though. I thank the Lord that in Ez 47 he said that we will cast our nets and there will be more fish than our nets could hold. Okay...this sounds more like my own goal than Jason's (but we're married, so he shares in it, right?).

These are a few of his goals. These are like his little treasures hidden in a golden box on the highest shelf way out of reach. I hope he does not mind that I shared them here. What would the church be like if we really were in unity? What would a church service be like where the presence of God is so thick that not a single person could stand. The curtain has been torn, so I pray Lord, bring it on!

Retro Worship

I am working on this one...If I were able to chose the songs for a night of "retro" praise/worship, what songs would I chose?

I See the Lord (Whom Shall I Send)...I want to shout out, "I WILL GO FOR YOU!!!"

The Superman Song...I remember Kyler asking Amy, "Mom, why do we sing a song about Uncle Sam at church?" This song is part of CFC's heritage. It is a song that engages the little kids (and the not-so-little kids) and it's just fun.

Come Into This House (Magnify the Lord...lift up holy hands)...This is just one of them that I have always loved.

Be Magnified...Wow! What can I say? My heart still cries out for God to be magnified.

The Superman Song

Faster than a speeding bullet
Stronger than a hurricane
Whenever you're in trouble
Just call on His holy name

I need help with the rest of these lyrics. This is all I remember other than "Batman, Superman, Spiderman, Uncle Sam".

Another one I like is "It Becomes My Highest Praise" - It becomes my highest praise when all that I am responds to who You are. And it becomes my highest praise, just to know You, Lord.

What songs would you add to the list?

myspace.com

I signed up for a myspace account in hopes of reuniting sith some people I went to school with. I wanted to see who still lived in Rushville and I had high hopes of identifying some who were still in town and not saved so that I could put them in the basket at church.

I could review the whole rabbit trail and tell you about the path along the way, but rather than bore you with all that, I'll tell you what I saw. I saw friends who are broken, have no self-esteem, there is nothing that they will not do, they have offered themselves as living sacrifices (but not to God). Anyone who will pay attention to them gets a piece of them. Anyone who is on the same path of them is welcome to walk the path with them. Their path goes where the wind blows. Anyone is welcome with them as long as you do not judge them or try to change them. They are pleased with the outcome of their life. And, if I'm being honest, they don't know that life can be better than it is.

My heart was broken. Here I am trying to find just names to put in a basket and I see lives that are a complete mess. The Lord loves Amy, Melinda, Blaec, Michelle, Cami and all the others. I have said all this to say that despite what myspace.com may be doing to make it more safe for teens, they will never accomplish it. Every site of all of these friends made my stomach turn. There is a lost world out there, but it means a lot more when you realize that you know the ones who are lost. It has been on my heart to pray for those I went to school with. All I can pray is that the Lord will establish His throne in my heart and that I will allow Him to let the living water flow forth and bring life to dead places. I've never been one to have a strong burden for the lost, but lately it has been burning in me. I have people at work that I want to see saved and now all these people I went to school with. The Lord is faithful to His word and I know that He will draw these people to Him.

Create in Me a Clean Heart

Create in me a clean heart O God
And renew a right spirit in me
Create in me a clean heart O God
And renew a right spirit in me
Wash me cleanse me purify me
Make my heart as white as snow
Create in me a clean heart O God
And renew a right spirit in me

I have been thinking about something...If you got to choose the songs for one night of retro praise/worship, what songs would you choose? I have a few in mind, but I'm curious about what songs you would choose. Any ideas?

I Am Exhausted.

I spent the past week either at work, working at the house, at prayer meeting or sleeping. Unfortunately, not enough sleep. From last Sunday through today, I spent about 18 hours working at the new house, 45 hours at work, and not enough hours praying and sleeping. I'm exhausted and ready for bed now. I am going to take Tuesday off work, but I am planning to spend that time working at the new house. I have scraped nearly all the walls at the new house and it is almost ready to be primed. There are a few areas that need patched and a little bit of Shepard's room still needs to be scraped. After that, it will be ready to prime. I'm so ready for all the work at the new house to be done. The electric is done, the shingles have been torn off the roof and they are planning to be finished by Wednesday. We should close on the loan really soon (like end of this week or beginning of next week).

What a week! I hope this week is better.

Abiding We Will Go

The principle of "sinning more so that much more grace may abound" is kinda a crazy question to ask. That's like asking, "Lord, should I make lots of mistakes so that I can be humbled?" How much fun is that?

The truth is that when we sin it pierces the heart of God and He wants us to be made holy as He is holy. Whatever in our lives that we think is righteousness is as filthy rags. The spirit of God cannot dwell in the midst of the wicked...but we all have our wicked ways.

My prayer is that I can sacrifice myself to be what God has chosen for me to be. I don't know what He has chosen for me, but I know the desires of my heart and that they are not things I would have ever came up with on my own.

Lord, I'll run after you and never give up. Recycle me and make me all that you want me to be. Restore joy and renew a right spirit in me. I long to stand before you. I lay my heart before you. I long to worship at your feet. Lord, I know that you are the potter and I am the clay. I pray that you will form me into what you want me to be. I thank you that your mercies are new every morning. I pray that you will bless my hands in my work today. I pray that I will be able to get my accounts done quickly. Thank you, Lord, for hearing my prayer this morning. In Jesus' Name.

Here's a Happy Song

After that last post, I really need a happy song for today. So, it only seems fitting that it should be...

This Is the Day

This is the day (let me hear your echo!)
That the Lord has made (I can't hear you)
I will rejoice (Rejoice now...come on)
And be glad in it (get happy now)

This is the day that the Lord has made
I will rejoice and be glad in it
For, this is the day (Oh, there you are...I can hear you now)
That the Lord has made.

He he. Happy Monday...may this week be better than last. :) Oh, by the way, I was rejoicing in my suffering. I think the Lord really wants me to know that He has given me my job and that He alone has the authority to keep me there.

Break on Through to the Other Side

Ok...the song of the day is not "Break on Through to the Other Side", but I thought it would be an appropriate title.

Beyond the Open Door

Beyond the open door
Is a new and fresh anointing
Hear the Spirit calling you to go

Walk on through the door
For the Lord will go before you
Into a greater power
You've never known before

Verse 1
In the things familiar
You find security
Resisting all the changes
The days and years can bring
When God decides to lead you
Through an open door
Inviting you to walk in realms
You've never known before

Verse 2
Hear the Spirit calling
To wake the living dead
To reach the huddled masses
Who cry out for living bread
Arise O mighty army
Take up thy shield and sword
For the Father lifts His golden lamp
Beside the open door


Be blessed. And walk through the door today.